my moods are contagious.
and for once in my life I’m gonna admit something, I’m scared. scared I’m not gonna amount to nothing. but, before I was above the water, the light guiding me. I was so reassured I could do anything I put my mind too. but I surely and closely encountered a feeling far greater then the depths of hell
the only feeling that had a noose firmly around my neck.
just hang me.
and just tell me “It’ll never get better.” lately people have been saying I’m a deep thinker the way I just stare into the distance, when honestly, I’m just trying to vaguely remember the perception of breathing.
“What? You think this is air that you’re breathing?
“You’re drowning bro. why you still clinging onto hope?”
“There’s nothing around you. there’s no one to help you. just sink deeper.”
how do you keep your head above water when you’re drowning in it? what’s there to fight when the battle is within yourself? doesn’t it get lonely not asking for help? don’t answer. that’s rhetorical. you know the answer.
the light you’re chasing is no more. there’s no doors. you’ll always be judged in how you treat people, and the cycle that repeats itself underneath your flaws. but what more? that normality you’re chasing. can you even remember it? that normal life and stable ship. man, shit.
“I can make you happy though. I’ll always give you a chance to see time float right pass your fingertips. so make the impossible, possible. don’t hit rock bottom. no matter what you do, don’t let yourself sink. don’t overthink. be water. cause the more you battle, the harder the fight.”
smiling and making people think I’m okay, it doesn’t work anymore. I’ll do my best to inspire others, cause if someone needs me I’ll put my shit aside and that’s just the way I am.
suddenly I’m coming to realise in these waters. I’m not alone. I’ll do whatever it takes to make sure if you’re sinking, I’ll swim you to shore. cause dealing with depression isn’t just about you. It’s about everyone!
tevinvassell 